Let me be clear from the beginning. This isn't a study that gives us permission to quit, to not persevere, and to absolutely lose hope. Not at all. This is a study on wisdom, timing, and a learning to use your resource of energy and trust in the best way possible.
Biblical redemption is one of the most beautiful gifts from a wise and loving Heavenly Father. Being bought by a price in order to press forward to becoming a new creature.
And because of that above truth, God wants the same thing for us in our daily lives. He desires for us to be fruitful, productive, whole, living abundantly and wisely. However, that comes from failures, mistakes, slip ups, and getting bogged down. We learn from those things. We should never hate the failures and mistakes. They should become the launch pad from which we spring to new heights.
We will fail. We will make mistakes. We will get bogged down in life's dramas at times. Wisdom and strength comes from learning to recognize when we are STUCK in a situation or relationship. When we are going backwards and not forward as God intends.
1. There are 3 questions we should ask ourselves before going back to anything that previously did not work:
1) Am I different? Have I truly grown, changed?
2) Is the other person(s) different? Have they truly changed? (not just used words)
3) Is the situation different in some way that would cause productive change?
2. If something did not work the first time, make sure you don't go back if that REASON IT DIDN'T WORK is still there (whether it is you, another person, or a situation)
3. If redemption in a failed relationship or situation is to occur, something truly must be different.
4. A second chance is not a repeat of the first chance. Ever.
5. A second chance (going back in order to move forward) is a moving forward to something new.
6. If everything is exactly the same in a relationship or situation, then you will be repeating what already has been, and there is no reason to think the outcome will be different.
7. "SORRY" is not good enough. Something has to tangibly be different. True repentance can be seen in the fruit it produces. (Matthew 3:7-8)
8. God has designed life as FORWARD MOVING. Today should be different than yesterday through lessons learned well.
9. The best way to remain stuck - not moving forward - is to keep repeating what has already been. Over and over. Without anything changing.
10. You know what a relationship or situation was like (good and bad). So if you do not want the negative in that relationship or situation to repeat itself, make sure you are going back to something different (you, the other person or situation)
IF YOU GO BACKWARDS, YOU ARE ONLY GOING BACKWARDS....
But if you go BACK to a previous relationship or situation, make sure something is different so you are ultimately MOVING FORWARD!
Blessings....until next time!! Kim
Questions or want to talk about this in more detail? Contact me at:
This semester we will cover 10 things that - if we are moving forward and growing in our lives - we will not repeat. We will never do again.
The old evangelical word REPENT is key in this study. To "repent" means to turn from doing something that is harmful, not good, not productive, wrong. Not to just say the words but to actually engage in forward movement that takes us away from the harmful thing.
Talk is cheap as you may have heard. In this series of Kim's Korner, I will talk candidly to you about being smart with what you say, what you listen to, and what you act on. There are some things in your life that you simply must NEVER DO AGAIN. Never go back!
Stay with me and come back each Thursday for the notes from Kim's Korner!
And if you ever have a question or would like to talk to me in more detail, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
And remember: IF YOU ARE GOING BACKWARDS, YOU ARE ONLY GOING BACKWARDS.
Henry Cloud's book Never Go Back can be found here:
Henry has a 53 minute webinar on the book that may interest you.
Even in the book of Genesis, God said it was good for man not to be alone. We were created for healthy relationships.
What is a relationship? Investing in a person by connecting socially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. In order for the relationship to be classified as healthy, there should be a connection based on mutual respect, trust and honesty.
1. RESPECT - the opposite of respect is disrespect, disregard, non-caring
2. TRUST - the opposite of trust is fear, mistrust, insecure
3. HONESTY - the opposite of honesty is deceit, betrayal
In a relationship, if just one of the three foundations is compromised, it can greatly affect the integrity of that relationship.
IMPORTANT GUIDELINES CONCERNING RELATIONSHIPS
1. Emotional responsibility - Own your emotions
It becomes unhealthy when:
*we ignore our feelings - meaning we live in our head instead of reality
*we judge ourselves wrongly -
*we turn to addictions to avoid feelings
*we make others responsible for our feelings
Listen, there is enough victim mentality in our culture today. It is chic and trendy to just blame someone else, blame the government, blame the church, blame our parents, blame the dog (smile). Blame anyone other than ourselves for our actions and who we are.
Life is going to be tough. Things will trip us up. People will abandon us, betray us, hurt us, and take advantage of us. But that gives us NO excuse to surrender our integrity, our core values, our faith. OWN YOUR EMOTIONS. Look them in the face and see the rawness of them. The ugliness of them. The power of them.
Who doesn't like a good ballgame, hike, biking trip?
Maybe it's painting, drawing, baking, decorating, landscaping, gardening, or a productive retail therapy trip?
Here's my thought on Recreation:
REST is deliberate. There are many forms of rest, but for the sake of clarity, this discipline is not totally about sleep. The kind of rest that will bring stability and discipline to your soul is the deliberate stepping back from responsibilities and stresses in your life. If that takes sleep sometimes, that is fine. But there are other ways to rest. And we are more balanced, if we can learn to master many of them in our lives. It's not called a "discipline" for nothing.
Being present in the moment.
Enjoying the gift of music or nature.
Learning to embrace the healing touch of silence
Giving your soul a reprieve from the world.
Resetting the mind, the soul and the body.
My video on the Discipline of Rest:
REFLECTION (serious thought or consideration) does not necessarily take a lot of time but it does demand quality time.
It takes discipline of your flesh, your mind, and your soul.
It may cause you to - at first - be restless and out of sorts, but in the end, the results brings peace and spiritual strength.
Psalms 1:1-3 - First, what we do enhances who we become.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
RESULTS FROM THAT ACTION
He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
REFLECTION pours life and hope into a soul.
As hard as life can get sometimes, it is difficult to perpetually lose heart when the correct structure is in place.
*Renews and reprograms our minds (Romans 12:1)
* Monitors our thinking (are we listening to Truth or lies?)
*Motivates us to follow God's path
*Produces spiritual stability no matter what comes our way
*Initiates worship into our lives as we seek God in our innermost parts
THINK REFLECTION MIGHT BE BORING?
"You cannot be in the presence of God and be bored at the same time.
If you follow in the footsteps of Jesus, it will be anything but boring."
(Mark Batterson, "All In")
Take a walk or hike
Swing in a hammock
Take a drive on a beautiful day
Get away from noise, technology and even friends
Set a timer if you must at first. But take TIME to REFLECT.
REFLECTION centers your core in line with God's purpose for your life.
It will stabilize your wandering thoughts and calm your fears.
Reflecting on God's greatness, His goodness, and His faithfulness
will give you the spiritual fuel for your day.
JUST DO IT
I follow quite a few writers, speakers, trailblazers of health and wellness (mental, physical and emotional) through the internet. There's quite a plethora of junk floating around in cyberspace so I have narrowed down to the few that I believe are actually credible and worth my time. That is a huge part of Life Management also. Discerning who and what gets your time.
As I am always in tune to articles about "Life Management", I was intrigued by this one on the disciplines of the heart. They make total sense!! If these four disciplines are kept in check and are cultivated in a spiritually and emotionally healthy way, our lives can flourish...the way we are meant to.
You can read Michael's short article here:
Here is my summary on the four:
1. The discipline of REFLECTION -
Taking a retreat from life, noise, others
Reading books that will compel you to reflect. I cited authors such as
A.W. Tozier, C.S. Lewis, Donald Miller, John Townsend, Henry Cloud, Spurgeon
2. The discipline of REST -
God created us to "shut down" for a third of the daily cycle (Who does that??)
Rest must be deliberate
Rest from technology as well as from stressors and responsibilities
3. The discipline of RECREATION -
Not necessarily exercise or working out, but an activity you enjoy
Amusement is not recreation
Express your creativity through recreation. CREATE something.
Recreation done the right way will release endorphins just as exercise does
4. The discipline of RELATIONSHIPS -
We were built for relationships. God made us to exist and need each other.
Social media is NOT a relationship
Choose quality relationships over quantity
Kim is wife to Jeff, mother to three daughters, five grandchildren, a life coach and counselor, an author of two books, and a college minister and independent business owner. Lots of fan in the fire. Managing life is the best way to get it all done.